Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't turn off my feet"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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