i already hear my dad disowning me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
