Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
