you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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