OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
