TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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