I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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