How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
