I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
