why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
