im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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