i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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