I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i dont even know how to be here
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
