This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
