He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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