she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
