hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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