HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
