You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
