Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
