I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
