dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just had sex bonerless
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
this hospital has no fireball
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
