Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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