As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize