whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize