We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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