It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
