I didn't shave. On purpose
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
