just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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