I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize