It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can u get pink eye on your cock?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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