I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
