He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
