I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do herpes really smell.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize