Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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