After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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