from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
