Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
