Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
