PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
