I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
