I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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