i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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