I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize