is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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