did you get engaged???
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
