I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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