But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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