Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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