Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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