You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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