Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
