His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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