Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
this will be a night to untag.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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