Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
