You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
