ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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