Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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