i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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